Ladies, Wake Up YOUR Sleeping Beauty and Stop Exploiting Yourselves

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Ladies, it’s time to wake up YOUR Sleeping Beauty.  There is an unconscious part of us as women that actually engages in our own exploitation.  It is a form of mindlessness that we have absorbed since we were little girls. We take part in the commodification of our bodies and our sexuality with very little awareness, and I’ve reached a point in observing this that I cannot stand by without sharing my perspective MORE FIERCELY than usual. I hope that the words in this post will be your Print Charming– Ok, bad pun– but the idea is that these  words serve to awaken you from your coma, dear Sleeping Beauty.  This is another long post, so get cozy…

We teach people how to treat us by how we treat ourselves.  What we believe about ourselves we broadcast out into the Universe and that signal comes back in the form of the people and circumstances we attract into our lives. From the time we are young girls we get messages from all around us that we MUST change our physical appearance in a variety of ways.  The first place seems to be our weight, and I see little girls as young as 10 already obsessing about it and dieting.   Without questioning why, we just start doing things because everyone else does; like messing around with our eyebrows as a simple example.  Now lest I appear judgmental about what women choose to do as their beauty rituals, let me say this.  I have no objection to WHAT you do so much as I ask WHY do you do what you do?  Do you know?  Have you ever stopped to ask yourself or have you just always done so?   So many women spend crazy amounts of time, money and mental energy on a multitude of appearance changing/enhancing products and services, chasing that “ideal” beauty standard and the perfection of our outsides.  Those products and services can alter your appearance so much that in some cases you just don’t look like you.    I saw a recent report that said women will spend an average of $15,000 in their lifetime on makeup alone! Not to mention all the other services and products.   The list is endless really because the industry keeps finding ways to tell you that you’re so flawed and unattractive and will never find a man unless you invest in the latest way to become perfect. So again, I ask you, have you ever actually stopped to ask yourself why? If your first thoughts are things like, “well, I would look like hell otherwise,” or “I hate my ___” fill in the blank, then I  suggest that you’ve been asleep and manipulated most of your life.  If you are doing these things because you don’t feel good enough, then I invite you to revisit doing them at all.  If you do them consciously and you do them FOR YOURSELF, that’s a different story.

I want to ask you, what are you really saying about yourself and what do you really expect to gain when you promote yourself from the outside?  What is the payoff? When it’s all about what you look like and you keep shape shifting to conform to someone else’s idea of beauty and sexiness,  you live in terror of being seen as you really are.  BUT IT’S NOT YOU FAULT, LADIES.  Your self-esteem and self-worth have been systematically and brutally hijacked from your being, so that you have no choice, from that paralyzed, numb place, to adopt the media-driven ideas of what makes a woman desirable and wanted.  It is from this place that our bodies and our sexuality become commodities.

Now let’s turn to how we exploit our own sexuality. I live in Los Angeles and move through the world and see this obsession with manipulating our appearances and pandering the “come fuck me” mindset.  I see women walking in heels so high that they could literally fall off of them and hurt themselves — in the supermarket!  I hear women’s conversations as an outsider and with friends. There is such a focus on sexiness. And so much of the conversation revolves around men and how to “get” them, and sex seems to be the bait, based on how we are focused on our outsides. I see this bartering happening energetically in an unspoken way between men and women. Yes, women’s bodies have been exploited throughout history, but when WE take part in this desecration, we are basically saying, “this is all I’m worth.  The way I look IS my value. If I’m not fuckable, I’m worthless.”  What we don’t understand is that if you actually held your sexuality at such a high value within you, you would attract a man who would have to step up to a place of integrity within himself in order to be with you.  From that place you wouldn’t attract someone interested in the shiny outsides, or who just wanted to fuck you.  The use-you kind of  fuck, not the really good kind. When we live focused on our bodies and our sexuality as our value, we set ourselves up to be used.

When we think so little of ourselves, our bodies, our sexuality, when we give our souls away to look good and use that looking good to seduce a man, what caliber of man could that possibly be?  We aren’t asking much of that man, so he shows up in the smallest version of himself and the most unworthy version of himself to match the unworthiness we feel about ourselves.  And we complain about HIM, but we are creating that reality. I hope this post will cause an awakening within you that will allow you to see things from a perspective that will honor you, ALL of you. When you do, you will discover your true value, worth and inherent power, which has nothing to do with your appearance.  If every woman in the world took this stance, I believe there would be an amazing caliber of men on this planet.  We want better quality men but we are teaching them to expect so little, so they don’t have to step up and deliver with integrity.    I see the responsibility on both sides of the equation, with both genders, but ladies, the real power is within us to change all this. But are we too busy looking in the mirror to even see our power and all that we are capable of being?

Are you willing to take an honest look at how you may be unconsciously exploiting your body and your sexuality?  I’m asking you to look at YOUR MOTIVES underneath it all; to make what’s been unconscious and robotic, conscious.    We have to stop complaining about being used for sex, when we mindlessly walk around grooming ourselves to promote the message that that’s all we are good for. If you want love AND sex, are you really sending out the right signals?

I’m not saying don’t dress the way you want to or to cover yourself up. I love being a woman and I dress the way I want to express my beauty, but my sexuality is not an advertisement that precedes my entrance into the room. Nor is it the primary form of communication I use.  I am sick and tired– yes angry– at seeing young girls taken advantage of because the world we live in sexualizes them so much that they now joke about rape.   I am sick and tired of seeing young girls unable to say no to advances, because at an early age they, too, fall into this deep slumber and believe that’s what they’re here on Earth for, and that being wanted this way makes them special or validates them.  I’m sick and tired of seeing grown women aging and believing that they have no worth, spending even more of their hard-earned money to try to chase youth and get rid of the wrinkles so they can reclaim their desirability and “value.” Doesn’t this piss you off, too?

Your sexuality is a gift and a force.   Explore it, get to know and understand it, and do not allow it to be pillaged or to take part in the ways of our world that promote you as a valueless shell for someone to use and never know YOU; your heart, your soul, your real face.   When you come from a place of honoring your sexuality, it can feed you in ways that you cannot imagine because we live in a sexually shallow society.    One which, by the way, still fears the true depth, intensity and hunger of female sexuality.  When you live in integrity with this part of you, you will attract a higher caliber of man, one who values your sexuality as well, one who has great respect and integrity within himself and for himself, and one with whom you can have mind-blowing otherworldly sex.  So ladies, stop complaining about the man. Part of my inspiration to write this piece was hearing so many women complaining about them.

Know this, too. It’s a lonelier place when you live this way, in the sense that until all women live this way, it will take a while for the world of men to understand the old rules no longer apply, but you will TRULY feel better about yourself and from a place of deep self-love you will know a new kind of joy. I learned this personally the hard way, but it is the absolute truth.

This deep slumber that we are in also keeps women from bonding with each other.  When you are living this superficial life chasing the perfect body and working the best seduction tools,  when a beautiful woman walks into the room, you go into comparison. competition, insecurity and bitchiness.  You look her over and try to pick her apart in order to elevate yourself because your yardstick for value is your appearance.   When you are living in integrity with your body/sexuality,  when a beautiful woman walks into the room, you can admire her.  You want to know her.  You are drawn to her.  You recognize her as your sister.

As I wrap this up, (because clearly I could go on and on and on :)) let me leave you with some questions to ponder.  What if you could wake up naked lying alone or next to your man/lover/partner, no makeup, hair however it chooses to be, and feel so comfortable in your skin?  What if being that way was the most sensuous feeling?  What if you threw away your scale and just didn’t give a fuck? What if you stopped trying to change your appearance via whatever tools you use, no longer spending money and time obsessing about them?   What if you chose nurturing and beautifying rituals instead of appearance altering ones? Why do you do what you do?  Is it because everyone else does?  Is it because you feel unattractive?  Do you use your sexuality to “get” attention and men?  What do you really feel about your value and your worth as a person?  As a woman?  Are you doing all those self-modifications and still alone, if getting that man is what drives you? Are you part of the Victorias Sheepret parade, following the herd?  (okay, that was a weird one, I admit, but you get my point.)

If you have a daughter or wish to one day, would you want her to think so little of herself that she would follow this life path?

Enough said?  This is a lot, and I hope my words will open some doors to exploration that will lead you more fully into the depth and fullness of who you really are.    Think of this post as the kiss that woke up Sleeping Beauty…yes,that would be you. But this is no fairy tale, it’s your life.

Men reading this, I hope you will take the time to reflect on what value you place on women unconsciously, and share this post with the women you know. Try to put yourself in our shoes — The high-heeled ones that are hard to walk in, and see if you can find a place where you can show up differently in how you relate with women.

If all of this begs the question how do you get out of this maze and live authentically, I am teaching a two-hour interactive webinar with live Q&A at the end.   Click on the link for details about the webinar, HOW TO LOVE THE BODY YOU LIVE IN, with real tools to achieve liberation from this prison.   And please, if this moved you, touched you, stirred you, please share it…And take the time to reflect on the questions I’ve posed here.

I am DEEPLY committed to each one of you and taking a stand for all that you can be and helping to liberate you from all of the boxes we live in, so that you can just shine your bright, authentic beauty and radiance into this world which so needs who YOU are.

And finally, I would love to have you join my e-mail list.  There’s an opt-in box on the bottom of this page, just below you. And visit my website for more to inspire you…

Much love and  A BIG WAKE UP KISS!

Gina

The Vulnerability and Wisdom of The Vagina

As I begin this post, I can feel that it will be raw, visceral and deep. So grab your beverage of choice and sit with me in a place of no distraction.  This topic is important, for both women and men.

The primary focus of my work, as many of you know, is teaching women the powerful and unique language of their bodies as a path for transformation.  Women’s bodies speak a particular language, via our reproductive experiences; namely the menstrual cycle, pregnancy and menopause, and also via our sexuality.

After a recent conversation with a woman about her sexuality and these body messages, I began to think about the vagina (often I will refer to as yoni) and its profound wisdom and vulnerability in our lives.  There are a range of experiences women have which involve this portal, both literally and spiritually.  In the normal spectrum,  there is giving birth, to our monthly cycles, to sex, to the undesirable experiences of rape and sexual violence in all forms, as well as female genital mutilation.  Our vaginas are messengers and teachers, yet many women have shame, fear, ignorance, and numbness, to name just a few, around this area of their bodies.

Vulnerability is defined most simply as capable of being physically or emotionally wounded or hurt.  For most men, and many women, the word vulnerability provokes discomfort.  Why would anyone want to be vulnerable?  Because without vulnerability, we are closed.  When we are closed, we cannot receive love and the many other blessings which are possible within the range of our human experience.  The key is to be vulnerable and to have discernment.  This is a gift of the vagina.  Whether women realize it or not, your vagina speaks to you via body messages even when you are not tuned in to your truths.  It is a vulnerable space and yet it is capable of stretching to birth a child.  It has a profound physical resilience.  Its vulnerability lies in its connection to our hearts.  Its discernment is mind-blowingly clear through the messages it delivers to a woman’s body as feedback.

In teachings on tantra and other sacred texts, there is a known connection and polarity between a woman’s heart and her vagina/yoni, and a man’s heart and his penis.  In a woman, the positive pole is her heart/breasts and the negative is the vagina.  In a man, his heart is the negative pole and his penis is the positive.  When a man and a woman embrace in a normal hug and/or sexually, these poles are activated in the same way that battery cables work.  For women, the vulnerability of our hearts is tied to our vaginas.  Any woman knows, and men should, that when a woman opens her heart, her legs are powerless to remain closed.  When a woman surrenders her heart, her sexuality comes alive.  And this is where the vulnerability of the vagina begins.  In entering a woman sexually, her heart is also entered, even if she feels closed, as in casual sex.

Many women today are engaging in sex without an awareness of this aspect of themselves.  But the vagina knows, even if you are completely oblivious.  When a woman allows a man to fuck her without a heart connection, or respect at a minimum, penetration becomes denigration.   A woman KNOWS when his has happened because she feels used, empty, sad, depressed.    There are many, many shades and flavors to sexuality.  When the vagina is accessed without connection, women suffer on various levels.  And your body WILL tell you when a man has no business being inside you.  And this doesn’t apply just to casual sex, but also to any relationship or marriage.  We all choose unwisely at times in our lives, myself included.  But your vagina invariably knows the truth.

How?  For starters, immediately after being with a man, if it’s a situation where you’ve been used, or a relationship that has never honored you, you just feel empty.  Many, many women know this place as not wanting to have sex, but doing it anyway.    Some women may be unaware of this emptiness if it’s been the way you’ve done sex your whole life or for a protracted period of time, but there is an emptiness, and often there are tears, if not immediately in his presence, later when you are alone.  When you’ve chosen wisely, you feel CONNECTED, more connected to that man after being penetrated by him.  And penetration by him is beyond his penis.  When a man truly penetrates a woman, the WHOLE woman and not just the hole of a woman, he finds his own heart and all of the polarities come alive.  There is vulnerability and trust.  A woman may cry after this kind of sex as well, but the tears will be very different because they will be from a place of being embraced rather than used,  a place of connection rather than disconnection, a place that reached into her heart – and his.

I’ve worked with women who were sleeping with men that they knew were wrong for them, yet they continued to have sex with them.  Often, your body will create physical dis-ease as a message to you about your choice.  I cannot tell you how many times I’ve encountered this phenomenon in my work with women.  I remember one client would get a yeast infection every time after sleeping with this man she was attached to.  Her vagina’s wisdom was literally speaking to her, telling her this man was wrong for her.   I’ve seen women get bladder infections as well after sexual encounters with men who were bad choices for them.  Cervical issues as well are often body wisdom messengers speaking to a woman about how she is not honoring herself. Many women will have an intensification of menstrual pain, if they are prone to it normally, and women who normally don’t experience PMS will while in a relationship, sexual or otherwise, that does not honor them.  Ladies, you KNOW.   You may be choosing to ignore that you know, but in that deepest part of you,  there is wisdom.

Someone shared with me recently that they read an article saying that it’s impossible to have a vaginal orgasm, that there’s no such thing.  That’s utterly ridiculous.  When a woman’s body is shut down emotionally or indulging in fast food sex, which is the cultural norm, there is a lack of vulnerabilty IN HER HEART.    Remember the vagina and heart are connected.  If your heart is closed and you have sex with someone without connection, orgasm is not possible vaginally for most women.  Vaginal orgasms are the deepest, most profound form of orgasm.  Many women are getting off on jackhammer vibrators, using only clitoral stimulation, which only promotes more desensitization, resulting in more of an inability to feel the subtleties within the vagina.  It’s aggressive,  surface stimulation, and I know that many men feel with penetration they can’t compete with those quickie surface orgasms.      It  deprives them of an ability to become great lovers if women seem to only want to get off clitorally.   Deep, vulnerable, heart and soul-stirring orgasms come with a willingness to choose openness of your heart and the wisdom to discern whether you should open your legs to this man.  That is why women are finding it difficult to have vaginal orgasms, not because they don’t exist, but because our relationship to our vaginas and our hearts is so fragile.

When a woman allows a man to f.u.c.k. (my definition: f.ree u.nrestrained c.onnection to k.undalini) her from a place of heart connection, both can let their freak flags fly.  All those shades of our sexuality, when done from a place of real connection and trust, can be incredible to experience, and promote the deepest of intimacy.  But when we allow men into this vulnerable place, using that definition of vulnerable I mentioned earlier, our bodies know immediately if we can trust him.  If a woman is tuned in to herself and the subtle energies that we have access to through our vaginas, that knowing is unmistakable.  If you are tuned in to your body in general, you know before you ever get to the point of penetration.  But we often ignore that voice that tells us not to go there.  And then when we do, it’s like we have broken our own hearts.  If we can’t say the word vagina, if we can’t look at it, touch it and have pleasure through it, then we are disconnected from its wisdom consciously, but it will speak to you via the body messages I’ve mentioned above, and more.  Even if you don’t physical issues related to your vagina,  depression will often be the messenger.

There is another layer of vulnerability to the vaginas of women who have been victims of sexual abuse or rape.  In my work with women in this area, I see that women cope with this painful violation — which is of the soul, and not just the body — in different ways.  Some avoid sex.  Some indulge in lots of disconnected sex.  Some eat their unprocessed feelings, and put on weight as a way of protecting themselves, with the idea that if they are overweight, they won’t become victims of sexual violation again.  These are but a few shades, as each woman deals with this trauma in different ways.  Even for those that go through some form of healing, their vulnerability in this area is even greater than women who have not suffered this abuse.  Men need to understand this, and women need to honor this piece if it is part of their life’s truth.  I don’t think that men truly understand what it means to be penetrated.  To have a man enter into this vulnerable place.  The only analogy I could possibly offer is for a straight man to experience anal penetration.  For most straight men, it provokes vulnerability.  Here we are in a society where we are barely able to look each other in the eyes, to penetrate each other in our gaze.  Yet often women allow themselves to be penetrated vaginally without an awareness of the sacredness of their bodies.  When was the last time you were with a man sexually and you were able to hold each other’s gaze?  Do you allow him to penetrate you without being seen?  The eyes are the window to your soul.  If you’re unwilling to allow access to being penetrated through your eyes, how can you possibly allow vaginal penetration.  It’s an act of disrespect.  And men, how can you not see the woman, the human being, the soul that you desire?  How can you fuck a woman without caring who she is?  Women, if you value yourself more, you wouldn’t find yourself with a man who would do this to you, and if you did, you’d walk away.  The more you learn to honor what you carry between your legs, the more you will understand its connection to your heart.  The more you honor your heart, the more you will be unable to allow sexual penetration of this vulnerable, sacred space.

Couples who have love and trust can explore 50 shades of gray, and every other color under the sun.  Sexual exploration is vital to our understanding of who we are, but for a woman, opening to allow those experiences with a man who doesn’t value her, honor her, will make her feel used, violated.   Without intimacy and trust between two people, we are violating ourselves repeatedly.  I believe that the kind of sexual experiences people are longing to have can only happen in a SATISFYING way if the people involved have that heart connection, that trust, that intimacy.  Women, you know.  And you must listen in order to take care of your own heart.

In our culture today, so many men are using women’s bodies as receptacles for their pleasure, dismissing and discarding the heart and soul of women.  And many believe that women are okay with it.  Many women falsely believe they have to comply with “men’s needs” in order to have a man, so they make themselves okay with it.  I’m offering a different perspective.  Men reading this, I ask you to dig deep within you and try to imagine the vulnerabilty of penetration for a woman, and the pain and hurt you can cause by just not giving a damn about her, using her only to get off on.   Even if you think she’s okay with it, even if she says she is, many women are so wounded and blocked here, from so much pain, that they are numb.  The harm you do by using a woman at any time is beyond my ability to convey to you with words.  I am not asking you to read a woman’s mind.  I am simply asking you to examine your motives.  If you know you’re only using her for sex, perhaps you could make a different choice.    You know what your intention is.  Be mindful of that.  Find a place inside you that honors women, our bodies, our hearts, and that vulnerable portable you are all so fond of inhabiting.  It’s not yours to take ownership of or to use as you wish.  Women, you MUST stop allowing this to happen.  We have the power through honoring ourselves to put an end to this.  We have the power to educate men with love and grace by simply standing in our own self-love and self-respect.  We don’t have to make men wrong in order to change this.   I also believe that when women honor men and stop vilifying them, men in turn will honor women.  When we understand this simple truth, our relationship to each other will be transformed, and we will learn to truly serve each other.

 

With love & blessings,

Gina

Why Women’s Sexual Dissatisfaction is An Important Awakening

Whenever I sit down to write these posts, I truly never have any idea how long they will be.  A title comes to me and, like a midwife, I sit down and allow myself to be used as a channel.  So before you read this, scroll down and see how long it is and if you have the 5-10 minutes to read it.  This one feels important, even before I begin to write the meat of it.

Lately I’ve had quite a few women come to me and express dissatisfaction with their sexuality/sex life.  When they come to me, often they feel there is something wrong WITH THEM because they aren’t feeling sexual, and as I begin to work with them to help them unfurl the petals of this vital part of their feminine nature, what I am seeing over and over is fear and disconnection, brought about by a woman’s own body wisdom.

Throughout my life I have always said that the most important things I’ve ever learned I have learned through my body.  Living in a world that from a very early age teaches women and girls NOT to listen to their innate body wisdom has caused a massive shut down in our ability to discern what is healthy from what may be dysfunction. We trust more what we hear outside of us, instead of what we hear from within.  So many women who feel disconnected sexually are actually in a place of awakening, as their body wisdom has taken over where the mind has failed them.  In their deepest heart, they KNOW that this version of sex they are being sold is all wrong for them, but because there is no body trust for most women, it becomes depression and a subscription to the mainstream mindset that there must be something wrong with you.

Sexuality in our culture has become a lot like fast food, and just as devoid of nutrition and satisfaction.  We are hungry for something that we know we are supposed to get via sex, both women and men, yet after living on junk food, we are physically sick and more in need of nutrition than ever.  That nutrition is the energetic component of sex that is all but lost in the way we do sex now, and yet women’s bodies are rebelling against this, even as women’s minds subscribe to the BS that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t want sex or aren’t having it.

You see the words “women’s sexual dysfunction” all over the place these days.  Women are being led to believe we are broken in our sexuality as we have been led to believe we are broken in our bodies because we get periods, have babies and go through menopause.  The more we are bombarded with these negative concepts via media messages, personal exchanges, and personal beliefs, the more “depressed” we become.  But that depression is your soul calling you to awaken and take ownership of your powerful sexuality as you reject the mainstream models.  We are in a hook up/porn culture, where sex is just something you do, for stress relief, recreation, or procreation, but there’s a whole other universe, literally, when two people who are REALLY connected merge their flesh.  Like all of what I share/teach/speak and write about, I live these truths, and my sexuality has been a FORCE in my life that has taught me so much, and I know that if I had been listening to the mainstream spewing of crap, I wouldn’t have had the powerful experiences I’ve always had.

Think about what sex is and why we are so compelled to think about it constantly (and yes, men, we do think about it that much!)  And think about the part of sex that everyone is obsessed with: orgasm.  An orgasm is like the transporter in Star Trek.  It’s a “beam me up Scotty” experience when the energies between two people are in sync.  That in sync quality has to do with the energy systems in our bodies and how they come together when our genitals come together.  Sexuality is meant to be a bridge to higher levels of consciousness.  Yes, I do believe and have experienced this.  It is a way to know whatever God you believe in.  I personally believe that the lack of this experience is why we have the obsession  with “lots of sex.”  It’s quality, not quantity.  The difference between junk food and the kind that nourishes your body.  The junk food tastes good but doesn’t really nourish, and yet it becomes addictive so you keep going for it, but it will never supply what you long for and need.    And women are feeling this in their souls now, as their bodies say no to what’s on the menu now.

Ladies, TRUST YOUR BODIES.  They are portals for a kind of wisdom that is all but lost in this modern world.  If your sexuality is turned down or turned off, spend time within your psyche and your emotional life to find out what is scaring you.  My experience in working with women has taught me that fear is the largest factor; fear of opening into an intimate place (or one that is supposed to be) and feeling used, not seen, not felt by your partner, and fear of not wanting to engage in the sexual violence that has become part of mainstream consensual sex.  The bottom line is that many women do not feel safe with their current or potential sexual partners.  They do not feel these men are trustable, and that is an important feeling for you to respect.  Don’t talk yourself out of not having sex by telling yourself (or listening to someone else tell you) that you’re sexually dysfunctional.   TRUST WHAT YOU FEEL.

Your sexuality is a frequency and it is powerful.  A woman who is aligned with the depth and breadth of what she carries between her legs and the energy inside her is aligned with her TRUE sexuality.  A woman aligned with her true sexuality will be able to say no from a healthy place, and yes from a knowing that when she chooses a man, he will be capable of riding that frequency with her.  I know personally that there are not a lot of men who can actually handle that kind of connection.  There’s a lot of fear for men as well around true intimacy.  Fucking isn’t intimacy.  But f.u.c.k.ing is.  For those of you unfamiliar with my redefinition of that word, it stands for f.ree u.nrestrained c.onnection to k.undalini.  Kundalini is  the spiritual energy that lies coiled at the base of the spine like a snake and can be awakened through yoga and meditation, but also through sexual energy.

There are energy channels all throughout our bodies.  There are meridians and chakras which are wheels of energy found in different places in our physiology.  The chakras have actually been scientifically measured as energy centers, for those of you who think this is new age  BS.  Ladies, remember this as well, we take a man into our physical bodies.  Literally.  There is a deep vulnerability in that.  Shouldn’t you think carefully about the quality of the man you say yes to, and who you allow to pass through this very sacred portal?  Life moves in and out of us vaginally, whether we are giving birth, menstruating or having sex.  I wonder how many of you have stopped to consider this idea, and in considering it now, does it hit you viscerally?  I hope so. And  men, please ponder that for a long moment.

For you guys reading this, a few words for you.  Based on the coaching work I’ve done with men, which has all been around sexuality, I’ve learned that you, too, long for intimacy, even when you can’t and won’t say it.  I’ve often said that when you look at a woman and feel like you want her sexually, that’s just conditioning.  Societally and biologically in part, you’re pushed in the direction of that singular sexual drive, as you’re taught that is one way you prove you’re a man, but when you REALLY feel satisfied with a woman, it’s not from the actual sex or the orgasm, it’s from her WANTING YOU AND OPENING TO YOU.  When that happens, you are fed in places beyond your biology.  I know this from these men and from the men in my own life that I’ve had intimate relationships with.  But men and women are afraid of this deeper energy, of these polarities and frequencies that open you up.  When men and women have orgasms from this kind of connection, it brings about healing and realignment in your physical body.  Sex heals.  Marvin Gaye had it right…

So ladies, that feeling of dissatisfaction that so many of you are experiencing around your sexuality is a messenger.  It’s an awakening for you to trust that and to allow your true, deep, intense sexual energy to surface so that you can find men who are seeking to be blessed by this energy with you.  And in the meantime, as you cultivate a relationship with your own sexuality from this authentic place, you gift yourself with this powerful energy which can be used in your daily life, especially as a force for creating that which you desire.  Know that you are not damaged or broken or dysfunctional.  It’s time to trust your inner guidance to lead you to that awakening and the sexual healing inherent in embracing your own powerful sexual energy.

 

With love and gratitude,

Gina

 

GinaCology Principle No. 4 – A Woman is Responsible for her OWNgasm (aka orgasm)

              My GinaCology Principle No. 4 is that a woman is responsible for her own orgasm.  As many of you know, I love playing with language and reshaping it to my own ideas and concepts, so I call an orgasm that comes from a woman who is connected to her sexuality authentically, an OWNgasm.   Your own orgasm.  I wll be referring to the mainstream definition of orgasm as simply orgasm.

As many of you know, GinaCology is about empowering women FROM THE INSIDE OUT.  There is no place in our lives that this is more true than in our sexuality.  In our current world, we are primarily doing sex from the outside in, making orgasm a goal, whereas OWNgasm is a whole body/mind/spirit experience that brings you to a state of heightened ecstasy via a moment-by-sensual moment of full awareness and connection to that divine temple know as a woman’s body.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH MY VIDEO ON THIS TOPIC.

And please share if you feel it would help another woman (or man!)

Also, if you’d like to see me do a series on female sexuality, let me know via the poll below this blog post.

Love & Blessings,

Gina Cloud

HOW MY BARE SHOULDERS KEPT ME OUT OF ITALY’S CHURCHES

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As I write this particular post, I am still in Rome, heading back to the U.S. soon. I find myself reflecting on the fact that each time I have attempted to enter a church here in Rome or Florence, or anywhere in Italy for that matter, my bare shoulders have been an issue. It’s still hot as hell here, so everyone is running around in tank tops and sleeveless attire. But the bare shoulders of a woman became a metaphor as I examined and refused to accommodate their request to cover them in order to enter the churches, including the Vatican.

Now first I need to say that I was raised very Catholic, with extremely Catholic parents. I went to Catholic schools all the way through high school, was baptized and had my First Holy Communion and my Confirmation. So I have a personal relationship with Catholicism and am willing to say that much of what I will say here is likely to offend those who embrace their religious faith.

I believe that because I was raised in an environment of religion, it is what led me to the spiritual path. Religion, in my view, is a form of mind control and manipulation of the masses by making us believe that our “redemption” is dependent upon us following the strictures of whatever religion we subscribe to. Spirituality, on the other hand, teaches us that God is within each and every one of us, and that we are each piece of God him or herself. Many that are faithful to their religion would already be offended that I would refer to an ambiGod, meaning either male or female. If that is the case, you may want to stop reading right now because I am likely to really piss you off.

Back to my bare shoulders. As I stood in the lines to enter some of what is absolutely the most beautiful and celebrated architecture on Earth, no question, I noticed that both men and women had bare shoulders. The problem that I had was that only the women were being asked to cover ourselves. And if you were in a tank top you could purchase for a mere €1.50, what I refer to with disdain as a shoulder tarp. On a matter of principle, I could not bring myself to do it. Had it been a request of both men and women I know that I would have.
The fact that this kind of Fear of the female form –which is ultimately what this comes down to, the fear of female sexuality– Is still promulgated in 2013, really does provoke my ire.

While I really wanted to see the architecture, Something innately within me could not condone, support or become part of this still repressive ideology that surrounds women and our bodies.

So what the hell is wrong with my bare shoulders? A woman’s shoulders literally shoulder great responsibility and burdens. How do my bare shoulders manage to be the reason that I cannot enter the church? Oh yes, and then there are my knees. You see your shoulders and your knees must be covered if you are a woman. The knees perhaps because moving up my thighs we get to that dark, forbidden seductive, and juicy place–the place that all life comes from. And we know what religion has done around a woman’s vagina. Yet the church doesn’t even recognize that in the sacred geometry that surrounds much of the art and architecture, the symbol, the very shape of the vagina is everywhere, the vesica piscis.

And my bare shoulders perhaps invoke the thoughts of moving downward towards the slope of my breasts. Those breasts nurture life, and are not just for sexual titillation (pun intended). Though we know that historically the repression of sexuality in the Catholic Church has led to much pedophilia and depravity.

I know that some people will think how could you pass up seeing the architecture and the art in the Vatican, the Sistine Chapel, all the beautiful churches along the way? And my response from a place of absolutely standing firmly on the principles I believe in, fight for, would die for, is that I cannot stand in a place that considers my body and its parts offensive or illicit. If men can enter with bare shoulders and shorts, why can’t I?
And when will we collectively recognize the temple that is a woman’s body as the most sacred of all that we have in human form? This is part of why I do the work that I do.

It felt so right to me to refuse to enter these places based on this rule. I know that many would retort with, “but it is a sign of respect.” How is it respectful? What do my shoulders have to do with my ability to worship God, to feel reverence and sacredness around me? These are rules and laws promulgated by those that repressed and persecuted women in ancient times, and I for one will be damned if I will participate in the continuation of that today!

Does that make me a heathen? In the eyes of many, yes. In my own eyes, it makes me a woman, proud to be one, and unwilling to participate in any form of repression of my gender, Be it ancient or modern, religious or colloquial.

So until that time arrives, I’ll just keep on shimmying my shoulders with all the reverence and sacredness that my feminine form invokes and offer that to god, goddess and the universe Everywhere that I go…

Much love from Rome,
Gina

How Much Self-Sabotaging Do You Do Through People Pleasing?

People pleasing, we all do it. Mostly women in my experience, but men do as well, mostly in the area of their relationships.  The “yes dear” syndrome Every time you are dishonest in order to appease someone else or avoid dealing with an issue, what is the real cost to your soul?

What price do you pay to take the road well-paved and most traveled, instead of the one with very few footprints or maybe a few breadcrumbs, or better still, the one that you must forge completely on your own?

In this video I share my thoughts on this subject.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE VIDEO

With Love & Blessings,

Gina Cloud

GinaCology Principle No. 2 – Part 2 Video

As promised, HERE IS THE NEXT VIDEO on my GinaCology Principle No. 2. You can find all the principles written down HERE on my website.

If you missed Principle No. 1, or the Part 1 video of Principle No. 2, you can find it here on my blog or directly on my YouTube Channel.

GinaCology Principle No. 2 is rooted in the idea that as women, we need to be intimate with ourselves both from a health perspective, as well as a sexuality perspective. This is so important, as the idea of intimacy, that of being comfortable, warm and familiar (a simple definition of intimacy) with OURSELVES is the most important relationship we will ever have. I had so much to say about each that I created two videos – Part 1 and Part 2 of this Principle No. 2.

If you’re not already subscribing to my blog, please do, so that you will receive new posts immediately. All you have to do is sign up to the right of this post, on the sidebar there is a box to subscribe via e-mail. That’s all you have to do.

Remember, I am doing an entire series of videos on each of the 10 principles, so there are 8 more principles to go.

So watch and enjoy, and let me hear from you… CONTACT ME HERE.

And please take the very quick poll below so that I can better serve YOUR needs!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH.

Much love,

Gina Cloud

GinaCology Principle No. 2 – Part I Video

As promised, HERE IS THE NEXT VIDEO on my GinaCology Principles.  You can find all the principles written down HERE on my website.

If you missed Principle No. 1, you can find it here on my blog or directly on my YouTube Channel.

GinaCology Principle No. 2 is rooted in the idea that as women, we need to be intimate with ourselves both from a health perspective, as well as a sexuality perspective.  This is so important, as the idea of intimacy, that of being comfortable, warm and familiar (a simple definition of intimacy) with OURSELVES is the most important relationship we will ever have.  I had so much to say about each that I created two videos – Part 1 and Part 2 of this Principle No. 2.

If you’re not already subscribing to my blog, please do, so that you will receive new posts immediately.  All you have to do is sign up to the right of this post, on the sidebar there is a box to subscribe via e-mail.  That’s all you have to do.

Part 2 of Principle 2 will be posted next week, so stay tuned for more.  I am doing an entire series of videos on each of the 10 principles, so there is a lot more to come.

So watch and enjoy, and let me hear from you… CONTACT ME HERE.

And please take the very quick poll below so that I can better serve YOUR needs!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH.

Much love,

Gina Cloud

A VIDEO JOURNEY THROUGH THE MEANING OF W.O.M.A.N.

I’ve found myself thinking a lot lately(more than usual I should say, as it’s always in my thoughts!) about the subject of feminine energy and being a woman, and having a lot of conversations with women and men about this, so it inspired me to create a VIDEO PLAYLIST  in which I explore each of the letters in my acronym W.O.M.A.N.  I hope that you’ll watch each short video and let them inspire you…

Those of you who have read my book are familiar with my manifesto, but for those of you new to it, here it is:

W.ild

O.pen

M.agical

A.uthentically-empowered

N.ectar.

Please enjoy the videos…and let me hear from you about anything you have questions or comments about.  I’m truly here to serve you.  AND PLEASE SHARE WITH OTHERS!

Much love,

Gina

P.S.  Many of you have told me you’re not getting my blog posts automatically.  In order to do so, go to the sidebar on this page on your right and up top there is a place to enter your email which will subscribe you to the blog.  That’s how you do it!

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WOMEN WON’T BE SAFE UNTIL MEN LIVE IN THEIR TRUE HEARTS

CLICK IMAGE TO READ

So get ready, this one is gonna be an intense post.  If you’re a woman reading this, PLEASE share it with as many men as you can.  Ready?  Here we go…

A thought occurred to me about a year or so ago that I want to share publicly now:  No matter what women do to become empowered and educated, or to protect ourselves, the culture of violence against women by men will undermine all of that.  It occurred to me that for women to be safe in this world from all the violence, especially sexual violence against us, that we have to help men heal what drives them to do these things to us.  When men have peace in their hearts and have permission to have feelings, when they feel seen and acknowledged by women and others in the world,  and to want love and to give it, then women and children stand a chance to be safe from physical, mental, emotional and spiritual harm.

Recently in the news was the Steubenville Rape Case, where a 16-year-old girl was drugged and literally dragged around from party to party and raped repeatedly.  Anyone who wants the gory details, and they are gory, can Google it.  I’m only referring to it here as an example of where we have arrived as a society.  The question in my mind as I followed the case was what made these boys do this?  What made them think this was okay to do?  What made them see that girl as an object and not a person?  How can we change this?

Now let me say, I”m not playing the blame game here.  Those of you who have followed my work through the years know I am an advocate for men being authentic and believe in the goodness that lives in men’s hearts.  But the truth is simple:  If men didn’t do these things (and boys now, too!) , didn’t have the desire to do these things,  we women wouldn’t have to work so hard at protecting ourselves.

I don’t believe that it is the true nature of man to want to do those things. I firmly believe that as a society we have come to embrace many things under the guise of “well, that’s just the way it is.”  I believe I have a blog post here somewhere on how angry those words make me. Violence against women and children has run amok. I believe that the indoctrination that many boys and men have into sexuality via porn, violent video games, and other forms of media, and the lack of caring and nurturing as well contribute to the idea that it is okay to be violent, to hatred  towards women, to the notion that women are not people, but sexual objects and that they can do what they please with us.  As a society we are now looking at many forms of violence and condoning them, because we have become desensitized to them.  And women are embracing the violence against them as well.

But the playing field for most violence against women and children is sexual.    What I feel is happening  in terms of sexuality is that it has lost its meaning as a form of expression as love and simply become an act of violence. Clearly there are people in loving relationships and I am not intending to generalize, here but I’m looking at the mainstream media and what we are finding in the news and the crimes that we are being made aware of,  so many involve sexual violence against women, and it is a global problem.

I think a lot about the root causes of things in life. And I do believe that we need to find a way to help men who do these things to heal and to heal these ROOT causes in life that are creating these symptoms. The violence, the rapes, the repression are all symptoms of the disease that rest within our souls.   Women do have to educate ourselves and step up and become aware, but without the men in the goodness of their own hearts, and a desire to protect the feminine and to honor the life-giving principles that we are supposed to embody, we are fighting an uphill battle.   And life should not be a battle, but a flow.

I have often said in my work and in many interviews that I believe that a man’s heart is a profoundly deep and beautiful thing. I have been fortunate in my life to be loved tremendously to know the value of a man’s heart. I often envision a cross,  not in the religious sense, but just as a clear visual picture.    I see a woman’s heart as the  horizontal line of the cross.  We are able to embrace and enfold many people at one time in our hearts.  Our gift is abundant non singular love. I see a man’s heart as the vertical line on that cross. When a Man loves there is a singularity and intense focus to it that goes so deep. I believe this is why many times in a man’s life, when he loves for the first time and it fails, he closes that door and says, “I will never do that again.”  Their hurt is different from ours, and I believe more intense.   That is an unfortunate thing, because the depth of a man’s love has the capacity to change the planet, especially when aligned with other men’s hearts, and when in support of and honoring of women.

I believe it is time for men to band together, and I envision, perhaps in an idealistic way, putting together an army of men, men who inhabit their hearts, men who know what honor is and to choose to live in it, men who choose to protect the feminine forces on this earth, and the children. Men who value their own sexuality and have integrity about their own lives with purpose. Men who are not run by their genitals, but by the force and power of their own hearts and the deep capacity for love that is different from our own.    I believe from my own experience with the men in my life, that men in certain ways are more sensitive. We don’t honor that as a society and many women do not even recognize it in order to be able to honor it. When men feel valued for their capacity to be who they truly are, I think this will change the way that men view and act towards women.

I know that both men and women experience painful childhoods and abuse. But our childhoods are not an excuse to hurt other people. We have to take responsibility at some point and choose something different. I am inviting all the men in the world to make a different choice. I am inviting the women in the world to see that capacity in men and not to villanize all men for the sins of some. I am inviting the men of this world to find their hearts and to give them to the world and to the women that deserve their hearts. But women and children are at such risk to extreme violence and the violence is becoming more and more extreme. It is being covered up and collaboration is happening in order to effect it and to get away with it.

Men, you can change this. We need to feel safe in the world.  The world needs you to make it so.  Women and children need you to make it so.

So I say this in all seriousness, to any man who is reading this, I would like to begin to organize a men’s collective that is willing to do just that, to find the honor and integrity and goodness and beauty that lives in you  and to use it to restore balance and protection of women to this planet. If you are interested, please CONTACT ME.  And thank you to those already walking this path.

To both men and women, we must find a way to put an end to all of this violence against each other as human beings, regardless of gender.   Love is the only path that will cure this disease.  I intend to be the change I want to see in the world.  Will you join me?

Love & Blessings,

Gina