So get ready, this one is gonna be an intense post. If you’re a woman reading this, PLEASE share it with as many men as you can. Ready? Here we go…
A thought occurred to me about a year or so ago that I want to share publicly now: No matter what women do to become empowered and educated, or to protect ourselves, the culture of violence against women by men will undermine all of that. It occurred to me that for women to be safe in this world from all the violence, especially sexual violence against us, that we have to help men heal what drives them to do these things to us. When men have peace in their hearts and have permission to have feelings, when they feel seen and acknowledged by women and others in the world, and to want love and to give it, then women and children stand a chance to be safe from physical, mental, emotional and spiritual harm.
Recently in the news was the Steubenville Rape Case, where a 16-year-old girl was drugged and literally dragged around from party to party and raped repeatedly. Anyone who wants the gory details, and they are gory, can Google it. I’m only referring to it here as an example of where we have arrived as a society. The question in my mind as I followed the case was what made these boys do this? What made them think this was okay to do? What made them see that girl as an object and not a person? How can we change this?
Now let me say, I”m not playing the blame game here. Those of you who have followed my work through the years know I am an advocate for men being authentic and believe in the goodness that lives in men’s hearts. But the truth is simple: If men didn’t do these things (and boys now, too!) , didn’t have the desire to do these things, we women wouldn’t have to work so hard at protecting ourselves.
I don’t believe that it is the true nature of man to want to do those things. I firmly believe that as a society we have come to embrace many things under the guise of “well, that’s just the way it is.” I believe I have a blog post here somewhere on how angry those words make me. Violence against women and children has run amok. I believe that the indoctrination that many boys and men have into sexuality via porn, violent video games, and other forms of media, and the lack of caring and nurturing as well contribute to the idea that it is okay to be violent, to hatred towards women, to the notion that women are not people, but sexual objects and that they can do what they please with us. As a society we are now looking at many forms of violence and condoning them, because we have become desensitized to them. And women are embracing the violence against them as well.
But the playing field for most violence against women and children is sexual. What I feel is happening in terms of sexuality is that it has lost its meaning as a form of expression as love and simply become an act of violence. Clearly there are people in loving relationships and I am not intending to generalize, here but I’m looking at the mainstream media and what we are finding in the news and the crimes that we are being made aware of, so many involve sexual violence against women, and it is a global problem.
I think a lot about the root causes of things in life. And I do believe that we need to find a way to help men who do these things to heal and to heal these ROOT causes in life that are creating these symptoms. The violence, the rapes, the repression are all symptoms of the disease that rest within our souls. Women do have to educate ourselves and step up and become aware, but without the men in the goodness of their own hearts, and a desire to protect the feminine and to honor the life-giving principles that we are supposed to embody, we are fighting an uphill battle. And life should not be a battle, but a flow.
I have often said in my work and in many interviews that I believe that a man’s heart is a profoundly deep and beautiful thing. I have been fortunate in my life to be loved tremendously to know the value of a man’s heart. I often envision a cross, not in the religious sense, but just as a clear visual picture. I see a woman’s heart as the horizontal line of the cross. We are able to embrace and enfold many people at one time in our hearts. Our gift is abundant non singular love. I see a man’s heart as the vertical line on that cross. When a Man loves there is a singularity and intense focus to it that goes so deep. I believe this is why many times in a man’s life, when he loves for the first time and it fails, he closes that door and says, “I will never do that again.” Their hurt is different from ours, and I believe more intense. That is an unfortunate thing, because the depth of a man’s love has the capacity to change the planet, especially when aligned with other men’s hearts, and when in support of and honoring of women.
I believe it is time for men to band together, and I envision, perhaps in an idealistic way, putting together an army of men, men who inhabit their hearts, men who know what honor is and to choose to live in it, men who choose to protect the feminine forces on this earth, and the children. Men who value their own sexuality and have integrity about their own lives with purpose. Men who are not run by their genitals, but by the force and power of their own hearts and the deep capacity for love that is different from our own. I believe from my own experience with the men in my life, that men in certain ways are more sensitive. We don’t honor that as a society and many women do not even recognize it in order to be able to honor it. When men feel valued for their capacity to be who they truly are, I think this will change the way that men view and act towards women.
I know that both men and women experience painful childhoods and abuse. But our childhoods are not an excuse to hurt other people. We have to take responsibility at some point and choose something different. I am inviting all the men in the world to make a different choice. I am inviting the women in the world to see that capacity in men and not to villanize all men for the sins of some. I am inviting the men of this world to find their hearts and to give them to the world and to the women that deserve their hearts. But women and children are at such risk to extreme violence and the violence is becoming more and more extreme. It is being covered up and collaboration is happening in order to effect it and to get away with it.
Men, you can change this. We need to feel safe in the world. The world needs you to make it so. Women and children need you to make it so.
So I say this in all seriousness, to any man who is reading this, I would like to begin to organize a men’s collective that is willing to do just that, to find the honor and integrity and goodness and beauty that lives in you and to use it to restore balance and protection of women to this planet. If you are interested, please CONTACT ME. And thank you to those already walking this path.
To both men and women, we must find a way to put an end to all of this violence against each other as human beings, regardless of gender. Love is the only path that will cure this disease. I intend to be the change I want to see in the world. Will you join me?
Love & Blessings,